How to deal with toxic people? The choice is your regardless if they are a friend, family, or coworker!
How to Experience Freedom and Relief by Letting Go of Toxic People.
We all have that one friend. The one who has been there for us forever but has some undeniably toxic traits. The one who always has something negative to say about every situation. The one who must put you down to make themselves feel better. While these people make us feel secure and nostalgic, what cost are we paying for them to stay in our lives?
Experts say that your personality is a combination of your five closest friends. If you were to take this into account, what would this say about your personality, your outlook on life, your habits? If you don't like what comes to mind you may want to think about the individuals you are surrounding yourself with. Change is hard but eliminating toxic people and personalities from your life can be so freeing.
Evaluating Your Situation
So often we go through life just accepting the things and people that come easily to us. It is very easy to go through the motions and life, ignoring our inner judgment in lieu of what we know and what is familiar. Chances are, you probably already have someone in mind who is toxic to you and your life. You simply don't know what avenue to take. In opposition, you may know that something is missing or just not right in your life but don't know where to begin.
Discovering exactly who or what is bringing negative feelings and thoughts into your life is the first step. If you are reading this, chances are you have already identified this force. These people are the ones who drain others, don't add value to the lives of others and can never seem to be happy for the progress of anyone but themselves.
These individuals act like a virus. Like a virus, they latch on to the lives of others. Their negative attitude and pessimistic outlook spread to the world of those they touch. In fact, these toxic traits are likely not only affecting you but others, as well. As difficult as it may be, purging these virus-like individuals from your life is typically the only option. Allowing them to remain around you and the ones you love will only prolong damage, as they will eventually begin to seep back into your life.
Your Actions Will Not Be Accepted--And That's Fine
Other people are always judging your movements and actions. As much as anyone tries not to do so, these judgments are an inherent part of the human brain. Picking up information from those around us and making decisions based on that information is key to survival. It is common for those around you to not understand your decision to purge certain individuals out of your life, and that is okay. It may be difficult, but you can do it.
Initially, those who are closest to you may question your actions or decisions. For people who do not usually take a firm stance on such subjects, it can be difficult for others to understand. The more decisions that you make and stick to, the more accepting others will be of your reasons for purging toxic individuals from your life.
Possibly the hardest thing you will have to endure is letting go of those who don't see themselves as pessimistic or negative. These individuals may have narcissistic attitudes that think you are the true problem. Even the individuals you are letting go of may question you and insist they are not the true problem. However, once you have made your decision stand firm in it. Don't doubt yourself. You have reasons for taking this action, and they have meaning to you. Don't ever forget that.
Deciding Who to Keep and Who to Purge
In a world of constant connectivity, part of this task will be easy. Begin by looking at the broader view of your world. This will include work acquaintances, friends on social media and those you have close ties with. Chances are, if you "unfriend" or "unfollow" a distant friend on social media they won't even notice. Gain confidence by sorting through this list of connections first.
After you get the hang of this, boost your confidence by moving on to more personal connections. These may be individuals who you talk with frequently but are not in your innermost circle. Avoiding certain situations, limiting the information that they have access to and ceasing specific activities can help distance yourself from these individuals without being direct and bringing attention to your actions. Again, purging these connections will not seem as deep as those who are closest to you but may be difficult. This will give you practice at dealing with confrontation and unease.
Perhaps the most difficult disconnect processes will be those who are closest to you, including family members. Intimate friends and family who will have a problem with your decision to cut ties with them. These are the conversations that you want to be prepared for. If it helps, list out your reasons ahead of time, practice having the conversation with another trusted friend or prepare for what their objections may be. Plan to have some downtime after these conversations, as they will likely be a challenge both emotionally and mentally.
Have Confidence in Yourself
At all times, remember that you are doing what is best for you in this moment. While you must view this strategy as final, keep in mind that individuals do grow and change. You can hope for the best, but don't plan for it. While those who truly want to change will grow and mature, some individuals simply won't want to or won't see the need. Give it time. It will be hard at first. Always remember that you are not doing this to be malicious or mean. You simply want the best life for yourself and and your family. Cutting ties with those who don't bring you joy or value won't support that goal. Sometimes you just must put yourself first. Don't sacrifice your happiness for the comfort of others.